if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
