dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
