party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
