wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
