I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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