Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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