discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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