As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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