she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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