I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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