i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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