And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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