and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
