The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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