The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You're like the curious george of whores
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
