I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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