Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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