yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
