She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
