She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
