Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So vagazzling was a success
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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