Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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