it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
