I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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