He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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