question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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