I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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