You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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