he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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