I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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