I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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