I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
This is the high leading the old right now
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
don't judge my taste in strippers
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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