Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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