i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
