It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
