Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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