Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she peed on how many people?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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