He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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