Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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