Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
