Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
