Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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