Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's just like the Real World with babies
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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