ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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