Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
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I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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