Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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