She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize