he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
