reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
