I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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