Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
