You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
