Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
