your room smells of hookers.
And success
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
