I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
