You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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