Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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