it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I intend to get homeless drunk
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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