My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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