id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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