my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
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javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
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I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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