So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
