I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Mom said you looked used
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
