dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
